halo!

halo! udh lama banget ya ngga blogging hehe.. sekarang lebih suka main twitter sama tumblr sih ehehehe jadi blog suka lupa dilirik gitu deh.. jadi kalo mau, buka aja tumblr gue : as-hard-as-titanium.tumblr.com kalo ga follow twitternya @sugarretes. feel free to follow yaa! hehe thanks

yah how's life these days? gettin hard or what? i dont know whats mine. i think its gettin harder hehe but take it the easy way.. i'm lil bit forgetting hehe eh but maybe i'm totally forgotten loh. hehe udahlah jangan ngebahas itu dulu haha..

maybe each day i passed its gettin hard if i have no friends.. thanks Natashia Monika a.k.a monel who always cheer me up and thanks mate for being my friends when doing a cacat things or something idiotic EHE, thanks Stella Rafaela a.k.a stella/caca for being my "temen ngampret" haha keep on ya mates! kalo mau mati tungguin gue ca! gue ikut hahaha! thanks Anastasya Tedjasukmana a.k.a anas for being so patient to me and monel and somethimes stella juga ikut deh yang sering banget ngata"in elo, Nas. makasih udh bisa sabar banget, two thumbs up! eh satu ajadeh ntar elu nya kesenengan kalo 2 haha! and last, thanks to you Jacinta Karina a.k.a karin, for everythings.. hehe

ya belakangan ini gue jadi sadar, ternyata gue itu frigid, or what can i say, fragile? ya itulah pokoknya.. emosinya juga makin gak karuan.. yah udahlah bodo amat gue lagi males ngurusin itu ya just left it.. gue lagi pengen seneng" aja.. bolehkan? bolehdong!

dan akhirnya saya menyadari, dari semua lagu yang ada di playlist saya, dari 199 lagu yang sering saya dengarkan ternyata mempuyai satu arti, cuma cara disampeinnya aja kali ya dari lagu" itu yg beda.. inti dari lagu" itu tuh ya *blablabla* ya you know lah. EHE kalo kata temen saya yang namanya monel itu ya lagunya ngampret smua ya ngga kawan? TEREKTEKDUS haha udahlah bodo ya tapi lagunya emang enak" kok.. hehe mau apa lu?! haha *mau durukdukces* haha -__-

wanna know my latest obsession? uhm.. pengen beli lomo kali ya? sama pengen beli something buat orang itu, waktu itu belom sempet ngasih dan gue juga belom sempet beli sih EHE whatde? tapi biarin deh ntar orang itu gue ajak jalan trus suruh milih aja sendiri. talking bout lomo, pengen banget beli supersampler. ituloh yang ada lensanya 4 kecil". cara pake nya ya lu tarik aja yang bisa ditarik dan itu ngeluarin bunyi yang seru, bukan TEREKTEKDUS sih tapi ya kaya *kreeeeekkkkkk* gtu deh pokoknya lucu hehe tapi mahal 700 eh ngga mahal" juga sih kalo dibanding slr *iyelah bego! beda jauh* haha dan sekarang juga lagi seneng baca" buku yg tentang psychology.. buku yg kasih tau meaning of life gitu deh gatau jelasinnya gimana.

hey, saya masih orang yang sama loh sama orang yang suka liat bintang.. bukan cuma sekedar liat ya, saya juga belajar tentang itu.. itu semua karena dulu banget (cie lebay) pernah ada yang bilang kalo belajar tentang bintang itu asik, ya dan itu emang asik banget. yang ngomong udah gatau kemana sih, surga kali iya, inget banget waktu itu masih kelas 3 sd lagi liburan ke tanjung lesung. lagi tiduran di teras liat" bintang padahal waktu itu cuma iseng aja, eh ada yang tanya "kamu suka bintang juga?" heh bikin kaget aja ya jadi saya cuma jawab "nggak tau, emang kamu suka?" dia jawab "suka banget, nih bentar aku tunjukin sesuatu" trus dia lari ke kamar ngembil teropong dan bilang ke saya "ini liat pake ini liat ke sana" dia nunjukin letaknya pake jari telunjuk sambil senyum, manis banget.. eh ternyata ditunjukin rasi orion sama orang yg bikin saya kaget itu jelas aja saya waktu itu belom tau apa" ya jaid dia jelasin cuma bisa ngangguk" aja ehehe tapi sekarang saya ngerti kok, lebih tau dari dia mungkin haha

ah ya tapi gitulah life's keep going kan ya? jadi mau gimanapun ya tetep harus dijalanin, walopun susah ya liat aja disekitar elo masih banyak yang lebih susah daripada lo.. ya ngga? ya dan gue juga udh seneng banget kok bisa kenal sama kalian" yg tadi sudah saya sebut diatas.. *hhhhhh* makasih ya udah banyak ngasih warna di hidup gue hehe especially you! hhh

eh tapi kalo gue baca dari atas sampe bawah tentang post gue yang ini kok gaada nyambungnya ya? yah biarin deh, saya hanya cuap cuap tentang apa yang sekarang ada dipikiran, saya malas berpikir jadi apa yang saya pikirkan saat ini ya saya keluarkan smua hehe kalo gasuka bisa unfollow *emang twitter -__-*

sekarang lagi suka sama lagunya maroon 5 - better that we break, dave days ft kimmi smiles - olive you, sama satu lagi john mayer - dreaming with a broken heart. euh itu enak" kok lagunya ya tapi tetep aja liriknya ngampret hhh coba aja denger hahaha

lets finish then, makasih yang udah baca post ini walopun gapenting ya makasih aja udah ngebaca hehe.

life's keep going on yeah! hehe

TERETEKDUS

blog-walking

10 current song you would hear
- Love The Way You Lie -- Eminem ft. Rihanna
- Paperweight -- Joshua Radin ft. Schuyler Fisk
- Break Your Little Heart -- All Time Low
- Heartless -- The Fray
- Like We Used To -- A Rocket To The Moon
- Potential Break Up Song -- Aly & AJ
- Road To Nowhere -- Bullet For My Valentine
- Thanks For The Memories -- Fall Out Boy
- The Mess I Made -- Parachute
- What If -- Jason Derulo

9 current things that important for you
- iPod
- Macbook
- Blackberry
- wallet
- watch
- headphone
- medicine
- eye-glasses
- that photo album

8 current things you wish you could have
- her back
- time machine
- my own iPad
- new black glasses
- Percy Jackson complete series
- new telescope
- seeing the summer triangle in this august night
- a glass of coffee

7 current favorite things you have at your room
- Blackberry + charger
- that photo album
- TV + dvd player
- bed
- personal computer
- saxophone
- the atmosphere of my room

6 current doing
- blogging
- singing
- drinking
- watching TV
- MSN-ing (?) with ma' friends

5 current mood
- apathetic
- sad
- angry
- sorrow
- IN PAIN!

4 current things you eat
- nachos (y)
- muffin
- salt chips
- yoghurt

3 current foods you want
- chocolate
- cheese cake
- hot esspresso

2 current place you wanna go
- Paris, France!
- Hvar, Croatia!!

1 current person you wanna be with
R.L.S :(

teddy bears? stars? orange lollipop? or whateva!!

i ever know someone. who loves orange lollipop, who likes teddy bears, who hates insects, who's afraid of butterflies. haha. who is she? she's my ex friends. my ex sista or whateva you called that. she's seems to go far away. and now i realize how i really missed her. :'(

she would never know how much i miss her
she would never know how much i get lost of her
she would never know how much i feel so alone
cause of what? SHE EVEN WOULDN'T CARE!!

dear you, dont you.....
remember that nite i ask you bout that teddy bears?
remember that nite i ask you to see the stars up in the sky?
remember that day you told me that you like orange lollipop?
remember that day you told me that you hate butterflies?
remember that time i ask you to watch movie?
remember that time we chat until late nite?

And now I'm thinking about
How I wish I could go back
Just for one more day
One more day with you

i really miss you
i miss everything about you
i miss your hair scent
i miss your smell
i miss your smile
i miss your voice
i miss your laugh
i miss your stare
i miss your look
i miss your face
i miss your desperate expression
i miss your everything!!!!!

hey! dont you remember i ever told you about the summer triangle? you're the vega one. and you ever ask me to become your altair? remember that, girl? hope so. :( altair, who will keep vega always, who will protect vega from anything, who will hold vega forever..

so, its useless then i already save my money to buy her huge teddy bear for the b'day present. to ask her go someplace to celebrate it. its so useless... :(

but i'll never regret. thanks to God for letting me know that you ever existed. thanks to God for ever letting me have you as my besties. thanks.. but i think now the time is over. we're not getting the same anymore. its the time to let you go.

its over. here. now.

so now let me close the book that you and me ever write about a lil bit of life. let me close the book... dont ever blocked my way again like you always do.

yes. this is goodbyes. thanks for the memories. :) hope you'll never regret it too as the way as i am.

now --> deleting all bout you, erasing you, forget about you.

AND YES, NOW I REALIZE, ALL I WROTE ABOVE ARE ALL LIES!!!! I CANT EVEN GET YOU OFF MY MINDS! YOU STUCK HERE! HHHH. this is the most stupid things i ever did. goddamit!

hope you will regret everything and we will be the same just like we used to.. :(

P.S : this nite the stars look so bright. let see beyond our imagination with all connection we can make.. :)

- titanium

thanks, dear..

this post dedicated to you. you. and you only...

halo! apakabar lo? masih inget ma gue ngga? mudahmudahan masih... hahaha. gimana skarang skolahnya? skarang lagi deket ma siapa si di kelas? crita dikit dongg. eh ya lo kan gamungkin mau crita ma strangers kaya gue gini. hehehehe. mau gue ingetin dikit tentang gue? siapa tau lu udah lupa smuanya ttg gue. eh tapi kayanya lu gabakal mau ya? bodo wehh. hahaha.

ini gue. ex temen lo yg bawel, ex temen lo yang (mungkin) slalu ada buat lo, ex temen lo yang mau dengerin lo kalo lo lagi crita. ex temen lo yang slalu berusaha buat ngerti sama lo.

kenapa gue bilang ex temen lo? karena lo skarang pasti dah gua nganggep gue temen lagi. KENAL AMA GUE AJA NGGA. haha iya ga si?

eh flash back dikit yuu hehe

uhm. inget ga gue pernah bilang kalo gue pengen punya ade cewe? trus lo bilang. "gue aja" haha i said ok. since then i called you "de" hahaha. ex "kakak" lo ni kangen deh dapet sms pagipagi yang isinya cuma "kak! " yang slalu bkin gue bangun kalo lagi libur. trus kaloo gue bales "knapa, de?"
lo cuma jawab "gapapa hehe"

inget ga? mudahmudahan ingetttt.. aminn. hahaha. ah tapi ngapain ya berharap banyak sama lo kalo lo juga udah gapeduli sama gue. ya ngga? juga kayanya percuma banget gue post ini. kaya pasti bakal lo baca aja. ya ngga, de? HAHA!

tau ngga? 3 hari diemdieman sama lo, buat gue tu susah banget. gue coba ajak lo ngobrol tapi lo gapernah nanggep. lama lama kan bete jugaaa! hehehe tapi kan itu hidup lo, gue ga berhak ngatur. iya ga?

jujur dulu ah sama lo. gue sebenernya kangennn sama lo. kangeeeennn bangeeeett. hehehehe. gue si berharap lo juga kaya gitu hehe. tapi gue tau ko kalo lo udah punya banyak temen lain yang lebih baik dari gue pastinyaaa. gue kan bandel banget. gue sih masi pengen kita kaya dulu lagi. tapi kayanya gamungkin. gue gatau knapa lo jadi kaya skarang ni. gue gatau. benerbener gatau.

apa mungkin karena soal move on yang pernah gue bilang?

banyak yang bilang gue jangan kaya gini terus sama lo. ada yang bilang "udahlah lo jangan kaya gini terus sama dia. kalo akhirnya lo pun akhirnya jadi sakit sendiri." ada yang bilang lagi "jauhin dia aja. dia kan cuma temen lo."

tapi dulu gue gamau.. karena gue dulu mikir kalo lo itu precious buat gue. you're crucial for me. kalo lo itu worth it. tapi skarang, gue kayanya harus ikutin kata kata mreka..

apanya yang worth it kalo lo skarang cuek, gapeduli ma gue, dan bahkan, gue coba buat ajak lo ngobrol pun susah..

tapi gue sendiri juga belom tau!! gue benerbener mau ngikutin katakata mreka ato ngga. i dont want regreting something. i dont like regrettt. hhh

Can you promise me if this one's right
Don't throw it all away
Can you do all these things
Will you do all these things like we used to
Oh, like we used to

oh ya! skarang lo duduknya jauh banget ya? haha. knapa? pengen ngobrol ma temen lo ya? ato kalo dibelakang lo takut ya karena ada strangers kaya gue gini? hahahaha! jangan takut dong. gue ga macem macem koo. cuma lagi kalut aja. hehehe.

eh ya lupa. tujuan gue ngepost blog ni kan mau bilang trimakasih skalian minta maaf sama lo. skarang aja ah. daripada ntar ngebacot lebih banyak. hahaha!

maaf..
kalo gue sering kasar sama lo
kalo gue sering marah sama lo
kalo gue sering jadiin lo pelampiasan emosi gue
kalo gue bandel
kalo gue gapernah bisa ngertiin lo
kalo gue sering nyebelin

maaf..
kadang suka ngebuat lo jadi bete
kadang suka jailin lo sampe lo marah ke gue
kadang suka semaunya sendiri
kadang suka nyuruh lo
kadang suka ngomel ngomel ga jelas
maafff...

makasih..
karena udah pernah ada dihidup gue
karena udah pernah ngisi kekosongan gue
karena udah pernah jadi temen gue
karena udah pernah ngewarnain hari gue
karena udah pernah ngasi tau tentang banyak hal
karena udah pernah ngajarin gue apa arti hidup

makasih..
buat semua senyum
buat semua tawa
buat semua canda
buat semua tangis
buat semuanya..

makasih..
karena lo bisa sabar sama gue
karena lo tahan ma temper gue
karena, karena lo udah pernah jadi yang selalu gue utamain di hidup gue.
karena lo ngebuat gue punya tanggung jawab buat ngelindungin elo.
karena lo bisa ngebuat gue sayang banget sama lo....

makasihh banyak..
any word that can explain much than a thanks? if yes, i'd choose it for you...

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

maybe this is the time for me to letting you go. and let you fly up high that can never comeback to me again.. bye, bey. thanks for everything!!


-titanium

you think so?

why theres silence between us? why you keep the atmosphere like this? why you make a space between us? why you always try to escape from me? why? why? and why?!!! just so many why. hhh

i missed the old times. the way you talk to me, the way you hugs me, the way you stare me, the way you smile, the way you laugh. THE WAY YOU DID EVERYTHING!!

so maybe this is goodbye? so maybe this is the end of all? so maybe this is farewell? okay then. kalo lo maunya gitu.

Ever since you walked away
You left my life in disarray
All i want is one more day
Its all i need
One more day with you

lo knapa jadi diem gitu? lo knapa jadi jutek gitu? knapa?! hhh. lo yang bilang kalo gamau diemdieman lagi. lo yang bilang kalo gamau marahan lagi. kalo gue yang bilang si gapapa deh skarang lo diem gini. tapi masalahnya itu elo yg bilang. LO YANG BILANG!!

Farewell, i miss you.
I'm sick of these goodbyes
Cause it tore us apart
Like from the start.
I miss you.

gue. kangen. sama. elo.


fragments memories

with every memories you made,
you just left me.
this heart cry,
this eyes tearing down.
this memories were crack
you crashed with your silence
falling into pieces
but i try to make it complete,
to make it as the last time it was existed.
it just vanished,
into fragments of memories..


-titanium

does it mean goodbye?

post ini hanyalah berupa curhatan sampah yang ga penting. kalo mau baca ya silahkan. kalo ngga ya gausah. :) gue bikin ini buat dia. buat lo sih tepatnya. gue mau bilang ke elonya langsung tapi ga bisa. jadi curhat diblog aja ah. hehe. gue tau ko lo suka baca blog gue. kan elo pernah bilang sama gue, hehe. gaktau deh lo masih inget pernah ngomong kaya gitu ato ngga. x)

lo kenapa berubah si? jujur gue sedih banget liat lo berubah jadi kaya gini. kaya sekarang. kemana elo yg dulu? lo yang anaknya blakblakan kalo cerita sama gue. lo yang ga pernah ngehindar dari rengkuhan tangan gue. lo yang selalu jujur sama gue. lo yang ga nyimpen banyak rahasia kaya sekarang. gue kangen sama lo. sama lo yang dulu.

Sejujurnya kadang aku pun tak mengerti
Peran apa yang kita jalani
Seindahnya dunia ini takkan seindah
Bila ku milikimu dan ku milikmu..

what are we? i mean, what we are? friends? bestfriends? i dont even know. what i know is, friends doesnt fall for each which i do most of times. friends doesnt care with an over protection which i always do. friends are not like that! so what we are? dont you know that am sick of these? hh

We were stars up in the sunlit sky
No one else could see
Neither of us ever thought to ask why
It wasn't meant to be
Maybe we were way too high
To ever understand
Maybe we were victims of all the foolish plans
We began to devide

lo tau apa rasanya kalo lo kehilangan orang yang lo sayang? sakit banget.. mungkin lo ngga tau karena lo belom pernah ngerasain. tapi gue? udah pernah! dan cukup sekali buat gue untuk kehilangan orang yang gue sayang. gue gak mau kehilangan elo juga. YOU'RE CRUCIAL FOR ME.

maybe you thought that am a jerk. chasing that person's shadows but in one side i always wait for you, my friend. yeah? how jerk am i? yes am a jerk. A JERK WHO LOVES YOU ABOVE ALL. A JERK WHO WANTS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING..

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of a winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do i get better
Once I've had the best

mungkin lo pernah pikir kalo gue tuh posesif banget. gue emang kaya gitu. itu juga karena satu hal, GUE CARE SAMA ELO.. gue cuma takut kalo lo kenapa kenapa. gak tau kenapa gue bisa kaya gitu. mungkin karena gue terlalu sayang sama lo.

and now, could you please explain me why you always try to escape from me? could you explain why you didn't like to have a call from me anymore? could you explain why you're being like this? could you explain why, why you always try to didn't have an eye contact with me? could you explain all?

Percayalah kasih
Cinta tak harus memiliki
Walau kau coba lupakan aku
Tapi ku kan slalu ada untukmu

i believe this isn't a goodbyes from you. cause what i know is you're afraid if am gone later. cause what i know when we didn't met for 4 days or more you used to miss me. cause what i know is you used like to put your head on my shoulders. cause what i know is you used to care of me.

you're still my friend. even more.

This ain't goodbye
It's not where our story ends
But I know you can't be mine
Just like the way you've always been

just like what do people said. when you're expecting something too high you might hurt when you fall later.

as real as it seems, you're only in my dreams..

please don't change who you used to be. i miss us just like what we used to be. ♥


- titanium.

Can you answer 41 questions about just 1 person ?


Don’t change the friend half way through.


1) What’s their name? - *****


2) Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend? - yeah! she have it!


3) Do you get along with this person all the time? - Just a 50% I think. well i dunno.


4) How old is the person? - 14! too young, eh? haha


5) Has he/she ever cooked for you? - Not yet. i even dunno wheter she can cook or not. haha


6) Is this person older than you? - No. she's younger than me!


7) Have you ever kissed this person? - NOT YET! And I hope I’ll never. XD


8) Are you related to this person? - NO ... INCEST EW! XD LMAO


9) Are you really close to him/her? - definitely.


10) Nickname? - sugar. XD she's sweet! :D


11) Do they have a nickname for you? - Yup. She often call me gamii or cupcake -__- eventhough am a lil bit disturbed with taht kinda "nicknames" she still used to call me that way! -__-


12) How many times do you talk to this person in a week? - uh-oh let me count, umm ah many! cant count by fingers and toes! haha


13) Do you think they will repost this? - Maybeeeeeeee…


14) could you live with this person? - well let we just see it later. btw what kinda quest is this? so silly!


15) Why did you pick this person? - Hmmmm... maybe cz for me she’s a one in a million things! haha


16)Do you know this persons favourite colour? - Hemm… wait, uh-oh she like purple. Definitely purple


17) How long have you known this person? - Since I was in 7th grade.


18) Have you ever been to the mall with this person? - Yup.


19) Have you ever slept in the same bed as this person? - LOL.. in the same tend definitely while we went for camping with skool. hemm yeah this is skool activity! haha


20) If you ever moved away would you miss this person? - I always miss her! haha LOL


21) Do you know where this person was born? - Ummm jakarta *if am not mistaken.


22) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person? - ...HAHAHA. NOT YET!! and NEVER!!


23) Do you know everything about this person? - Almost everything! but i want make it become completely everything! haha LOL


24) Would you date this person’s siblings? - LOL NO. and I wont! hahaha

25) Have you ever made something for this person? - whats something, eh?!


26) Have you ever gone traveling with this person? - Not yet but I really want to!


27) Does this person know where you live? - Yes yes. She ever went to my home. haha


28) Have you gone skinny dipping with this person? - ... I don’t get what u mean, stupit!


29) Have you met this persons parents? - Mhmmm I met her parents while we take our reports haha XD


30) Have you memorized each others phone numbers? - LOL duh dunno XD


31) Do you know a secret about this person? - Haha yess!! #maybe


32) Have you ever worn this person's clothes? - LOL don’t ask.


33) Does this person wear your clothes? - Emmmm wait a sec. I think not yet


34) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person? - .. Maybe? Haha too silly mamen!


35) Have you ever heard this person sing? - muchhh!! And I like to hear her voice! haha


36) Do you think he/she is a good person? - Very.


37) Do you and this person have any inside jokes? - I guess? They're not really inside, but so they seem widespread but... I guess , yeah.


38) Do you know this persons facebook password? - Nope. Well maybe. Haha with some guessing I think


39) Do you trust this person? - definitely yes!!


40) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 months? - Fight for 2 months or more? Ah the earth is should be like hell.


41) Do you find this person attractive? - LOL.. >.>


42) Do you think this person is annoying? - NO!! she was never annoyed me!


43) Have you and this person gone clubbing? - Ah not yet. We didn’t have id’s yet. and i believe that she didnt want it haha


44) Do you know how to make this person feel happy? - Mhm! Exactly how. hahaha


45) Do you and this person talk a lot? - Mhm, well we used to talk a lot when our seats still close to each other. But now, ah damn! i only can see her from that far. Huh!


46) Do you like this person? – like in what way? Friend? Yeah of course!


47) Have you and this person got into a fist fight? - Umm not so sure. ah well dunno


48) Do you want to go out with this person? - Can we not talk about that right now? xD i ever ask her for hang out and yeah we do! Umm how much yaa? Umm forget! ><


49) Do you want to be friends with them forever? - Yeah.. But.. I'm kinda nervous..... I don't want to leave her early.






haha. thats just a joking. silly me! haha

hey hey hey for you who have read it, please makes the same as this

not about me, about your friends! haha

thank youuu!!! hahaha

LOL
dis is just a silly quest! haha
dont get it too real
haha
ROFL